Becoming a nerd again

After about 3 years of mediocrity I am trying really hard to make myself the nerd I once was. The person who had to get an assignment done on time simply because it was assigned. The person that would stay up as late as it took to write a paper. The person that was eager to complete a task, any task well.

I think my entrance into the "real world," has made me an average person. And I say that in a very negative way. I say that in the same vein in which me and my honors classmates would refer to other students as "the regular kids." In the workplace, I am a regular kid. I no longer go above and beyond, unless it is to help others. Instead I am content to do C quality work. And the reason is because it just doesn't matter. In school working hard always let to something concrete, a good grade, which led to admittance into a good college, and which would eventually lead to a good job. I do believe I ended up with the good job, the problem is I hate it. Now the question is how do I find my niche and excel in it.

Ageism

Old people should not be allowed on Facebook if they have children, nieces/nephews on it as well. It's just wrong.

Its amazing and inspiring to me when I see people appreciate their lives and what they have. I feel like I do, but I don't, if that makes any sense. I am unbelievably lucky, and in a lot of ways I am living out some of my dreams, but in others I am so far away from where I thought I would be it makes me feel as though I am a failure.

In my life I have never been so bad at something as I am in my current job. I know that I am not a failure, I don't get bad work reviews, but I am not as good as I could be.

She was the most selfish person I have ever met. She lived only for her desires, her pleasures and most importantly her ambitions. She was the kind of girl who made you understood why God cast a women in the role of destructing mankind.

non since 1929...

After 8 years, of what I believe to be the worst presidency in decades, our nation is in a recession. Trillions of dollars in debt due to wars that have yet to counter terrorism and have yes to bring in the number one enemy to the US, Osama Bin Ladin. And as we deepen into this recession, we are currently loosing our war on terrorism and our title as the greatest nation in the world is no longer guaranteed. We here a lot of talk about how dire the nation's situation is and I think more importantly we need to think about how we can learn and grow from this situation, how as a nation we can become better.

Our president gave a speech yesterday in which he called out the nation and said, "...dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It's not just quitting on yourself; it's quitting on your country. And this country needs and values the talents of every American." I think it is something important to consider. When the auto industry in America has been failing for years, it is not longer reasonable for people to think that their children can have the same factory jobs they did, they need to think ahead and think perhaps their children can design that car or even invent a better way of assembling them. The sky is the limit and that is something Americans need to take advantage of, it is most certainly something immigrants have benefited from. That is why sometimes I think despite what many Americans think, immigrants may be the only ones that can relate and understand the true meaning of the American dream. They believe that anything is possible in America, that they can educate their children and build a comfortable life for themselves, and they often do. I know, most of my parent's friends have done it, built a beautiful life for their families through educating themselves and taking advantage of America's opportunities. And therefore I believe if you work hard enough anyone can succeed.

murmurings...editing needed

I walked in excited and confident. I was ready to get down to the business of important work, learning, doing. Spending late nights working on budgets and really leading, something I had always done. Little did I know I was in for a huge wake-up call. I was not worthy of any real work, no one cares about your education or potential. They just need you to help make them look good, and forget thoughts of your own career. As soon as you entered those doors, you leave dignity at the door and prepare for spending hours changing black slides into white, and then changing them back into black when Manager X changes his mind. All in a days work, or non-work. On the bright side I discovered www.thisamericanlife.com. A very inspirational and educational radio show that makes me feel far less hopeless.

I think the problem is that there is a huge difference between the change you experience between high school and college and the change you experience from college to the working world. Sure in both cases you work hard towards your eventual goal, however the outcome is more varied. In high school, earning good grades, leading on campus events and getting good SAT scores pretty much insured that you would get into a good college. It doesn't have to be ivy league or the best of the best, just a good school where you can get an education and more importantly have fun. In college you can work hard, gain work experience, and even do some volunteering on the side and all that can and will get you into a Fortune 500 company, a company that even falls on the list of "best places to work," according to Forbes. However, upon your arrival on said company you do not share meeting rooms with the best minds (as you did in college), you don't party on Thursday (work in the morning makes it rarely worthwhile), and more importantly you don't gain real responsibility or interesting work. You are not fit, instead the person who by some miracle of circumstance has not been fired, is ruling with an iron fist and you, you fall under hoping not to get squashed on a given day. Forget being involved in anything important, or even getting credit for you work. Nope you sit in a box all day staring at a computer and re-familiarizing yourself with Facebook (something college did not allow time for). Worse yet, your optimism drains from you like water in a sieve. You no longer believe that hard work pays off, the dozens of members of the work force who lack any intelligence or common sense have proven that to you. More importantly these are not mere minions in the workforce, they are managers, managers of people. These are individuals that have no business talking to people generally, let along managing them.

*** Done for now. Rantings may continue later.