Scardy Cat

I am finally getting out, getting out of a job I sometimes hate so intensely that I can't bring myself to get up in the morning. The new job is great, on the outside. Great manager, opportunity to work from home, everything that I need in my life right now. But I'm terrified. Terrified that another year of office life will kill me, that I with everything else being perfect I will stay hate my job. Then what do I do, I can't blame it on my horrible manager, or my lack of exciting work. Then the problem becomes me. What do I do then?

Better Myself

I have decided to eliminate "sucks" and "huh" from my vocabulary. They are awful sounding words and I would do better to keep them from coming out of my mouth. We will see how that goes.

Airports

When your in a long distance relationship, airports are probably the saddest place in the world. And of all of them LAX is the worst. The noise, the crowds, all culminate to make it the picture of chaos. Chaos that is nothing more than annoying when you are trying to get home without interacting with anyone else.

The Cure - Mint Car

Whenever I hear the beginning of this song I always feel happy. It reminds me of stepping out of my door in Berkeley, on my way to class on a sunny day. It always added a little bounce in my step and now it always reminds me of Berkeley, the best of Berkeley. They days when the sun was shining bright, the view of San Francisco was crystal clear, and Memorial Glade was filled with sun bathers and people playing ultimate Frisbee.


"Never guessed it got this good
Wondered if it ever would
Really didn't think it could
Do it some more?
I know we should!!!
Say it will always be like this
The two of us together
It will always be like this
Forever and ever and ever..."
* The Cure - Mint Car

On Well, Whatever, Nevermind

I hope when I grow up and have children, specifically teenagers, I remember the exquisite beauty of teen anxt. The feeling that your entire life is defined by what happens in the small radius of your existence. It's an odd time of I don't care and I care so much it hurts.

Do you ever feel like your on the cusp of something enormous? All your energy is going towards balancing yourself on the tightrope of your life, and the only thing keeping you from relaxing and stepping off is making a decision. Do you want to step off on the left or the right? That is how I have been feeling lately. It is strange, usually I jump head first into whatever pops into my mind. But it's been different recently, I feel like I'm finally experiencing what so many of my friends have, fear of change. Fear of the unknown, fear that what comes next will be worst than what came before.

The bizarre aspect of this fear, for me, is that I simultaneously have a fear of being stagnant. I can't picture my life in a permanent state, I am constantly thinking of the next move, the next change, the next adventure. The problem then becomes, how can I breath change and simultaneously be afraid of it?

Democratic Presidential Nominee Barack Obama

It is official, history's most groundbreaking presidential primary is over and we have a nominee. And I have to say I'm really proud, proud of the country and the democratic party.

In college I was a resident assistant in the dorms, part of our training covered inclusion. During one particular exercise we were asked which we thought was most likely to happen in our lifetime, a woman, black man, guy man, or asian man becoming president. I put together a list, but in my head I thought, I will never see any of these things happen. And in the very next election I was proven how wrong I could be. I realized that my attitude contributes to the notion that these things can't happen. All you need is one person (in this case 2) two go forth and try. Just try, and you never know what can happen.